Before having children, you may enjoy clubbing, skydiving, and LSD; you might find fulfillment in careerism, travel, cooking, or CrossFit; you may simply relish your freedom to do what you want. Having children will deprive you of these joys. And yet, as a parent, you may not miss them. You may actually prefer changing diapers, wrangling onesies, and watching "Frozen." These activities may sound like torture to the childless version of yourself, but the parental version may find them illuminated by love, and so redeemed. You may end up becoming a different person—a parent. The problem is that you can't really know, in advance, what "being a parent" is like. For Paul, there's something thrilling about this quandary. Why should today's values determine tomorrow's? In her 2014 book, "Transformative Experience," she suggests that living "authentically" requires occasionally leaving your old self behind "to create and discover a new self." Part of being alive is awaiting the "revelation" of "who you'll become."
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/01/21/the-art-of-decision-making
_- Steve
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