Misc - 25 Things...

Misc - 25 Things...: "# If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
# Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
# Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
# It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
# Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
# My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
# Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
# It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
# For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
# If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
# Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
# A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
# Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
# Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
# No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
# A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
# Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
# Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
# Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
# There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
# Experience is a wonderf"